# Anh: address by age and relationship in Vietnamese (A1) > In everyday Vietnamese, "I" and "you" aren't fixed words. You call each person by a family word that fits their age and your relationship, and the same… Source: https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/address-kinship/ · Updated 2026-11-09 **address by age and relationship** Pattern: `[kinship word] = you / I · em ↔ anh / chị · con ↔ cô / chú · con ↔ ba / má or ba / mẹ (S), bố / mẹ (N) · em ↔ thầy / cô · bác sĩ = you` Level: A1 (our estimate) · Register: everyday Typed without accents: anh, chi, em, co, chu, ba, ma, bo, me, con, thay Saigon: ba / má; ba / mẹ | Hà Nội: bố / mẹ In everyday Vietnamese, "I" and "you" aren't fixed words. You call each person by a family word that fits their age and your relationship, and the same word works both ways: it means "you" when you talk to them, and "I" when they talk to you. Age decides first. A man a little older than you is *anh*, a woman *chị*, and you are *em*, whether you're a man or a woman. Someone younger is *em*, and you are *anh* or *chị*. Someone your parents' age is *cô* (a woman) or *chú* (a man), and you are *con*: *Dạ, con chào cô.* In Hà Nội you'd be *cháu*. Someone older than your parents is *bác*, and someone your grandparents' age is *ông* (a man) or *bà* (a woman). In the family the words are literal. Children call their parents *ba* and *mẹ* (many Saigon families say *má*; in Hà Nội *bố* and *mẹ*), and parents call a child *con*. A teacher is *thầy* (a man) or *cô* (a woman), and students are usually *em*. You can address a doctor as *bác sĩ*. Couples say *anh* and *em*, the man usually *anh*. With an adult whose age you can't guess, *anh* or *chị* is the safe, friendly choice, and a name can follow: *chị Lan*. The neutral *tôi* and *bạn* sound distant between people who know each other. ## A common mistake ✗ Chị ơi, anh muốn hỏi chút. ✓ Chị ơi, em muốn hỏi chút. To a woman older than you, you are *em*, even if you're a man. You call yourself *anh* with someone younger, or as the man in a couple. ## Examples - Chị ơi, cho em hỏi chút. — Excuse me, can I ask you something? (to a woman a bit older) - Saigon: Dạ, con chào cô. | Hà Nội: Dạ, cháu chào cô. — Hello. (to a woman your mother's age) - Mẹ ơi, con đói quá. — Mum, I'm so hungry. - Anh nhớ em. — I miss you. (a man to his partner) ## Words in this pattern - [anh](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/anh-brother/#lx_anh): you or I - [ba](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/ba-dad/#s_ba_dad): dad - [bà](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/ba-grandmother/#s_ba_you): you or I - [bác](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/bac-elder/#s_bac_you): you or I - [bố](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/bo-father/#lx_bo): father - [cháu](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/chau-grandchild/#lx_chau_pron): you or I - [chị](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/chi-sister/#lx_chi): you or I - [chú](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/chu-uncle/#lx_chu): you or I - [con](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/con-child/#lx_con_pron): you or I - [cô](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/co-aunt/#lx_co): you or I - [em](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/em-younger/#lx_em): you or I - [má](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/ma-mum/#s_ma_mum): mum - [mẹ](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/me-mother/#s_me_mother): mother - [mẹ](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/me-mother/#lx_me): you or I - [ông](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/ong-you-or-i/#s_ong_you_or_i): you or I - [thầy](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/thay-male-teacher/#s_thay_male_teacher): male teacher ## Compare - [The neutral I and you: tôi, bạn, and when they sound cold](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/toi-i/): I / you (neutral) - [He, she, it: anh ấy, chị ấy, and nó for children and things](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/anh-ay-he/): he / she / it - [Greeting with chào + the person](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/chao-greeting/): hello / goodbye - [Names: family name first, address by the given name (Nguyễn Văn An is anh An)](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/name-order/): Vietnamese name order Previous in Talking to and about people: [You all, they: các anh, các chị ấy, họ](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/cac-plural-you/) Next in Talking to and about people: [Casual I and you between friends: tui – ông / bà, tao – mày, tớ – cậu](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/tao-may/) --- Add to Vietnamese Buddy: https://app.vietnamesebuddy.com/waitlist?source=grammar%3Au_address_kinship In the app, the grammar points from your own class material are kept with their status, and any word you meet while reading can go into your lexicon with its audio, ready to study.