# Tao: I – you (very familiar) in Vietnamese (A2)

> Close friends of the same age often drop the family words and use pairs of their own.

Source: https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/tao-may/ · Updated 2026-10-17

**I – you (very familiar)**

Pattern: `tui ↔ ông / bà (Southern, friends of the same age) · tao ↔ mày (very casual) · tớ ↔ cậu (Northern, young friends)`

Level: A2 (our estimate) · Register: everyday · Medium: spoken

Typed without accents: tao, may, to, cau

Saigon: tui – ông / bà; tao – mày | Hà Nội: tớ – cậu; tao – mày

Close friends of the same age often drop the family words and use pairs of their own. You'll hear them in the street, among students and in films, so it helps to recognise them. Use them only once your friends use them with you.

In Saigon, friends often say *tui* for "I" and *ông* (to a man) or *bà* (to a woman) for "you": *Tui nói bà nghe nè.* Listen, I've got something to tell you. Here *ông* and *bà* don't mean grandpa and grandma. They're familiar and a little playful, not rude.

*Tao* (I) and *mày* (you) are the most casual pair, the same in both regions. Between old friends, often from school days, they sound close and easy: *Tao chờ mày nãy giờ đó!* I've been waiting for you for ages! With anyone else they're rude, and in a quarrel they show anger.

In Hà Nội, young friends and students often say *tớ* and *cậu*, which sound soft and friendly: *Cậu ăn gì chưa?* Have you eaten yet?

When in doubt, stay with *anh*, *chị* and *em*, or with *mình* and *bạn* for people your own age.

## A common mistake

✗ Mày tên gì?

✓ Bạn tên gì?

*Mày* is only for close friends. To someone you've just met it sounds rude; for a person your own age, *bạn* is safe.

## Examples

- Saigon: Ông đi đâu vậy? | Hà Nội: Cậu đi đâu thế? — Where are you off to? (to a male friend)
- Saigon: Tui nói bà nghe nè. | Hà Nội: Tớ kể cậu nghe này. — Listen, I've got something to tell you. (to a female friend)
- Saigon: Bà ăn gì chưa? | Hà Nội: Cậu ăn gì chưa? — Have you eaten yet? (to a female friend)
- Saigon: Tao chờ mày nãy giờ đó! | Hà Nội: Tao đợi mày nãy giờ đấy! — I've been waiting for you for ages! (between close friends)

## Words in this pattern

- [bà](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/ba-grandmother/#s_ba_you_friends): you (friends)
- [cậu](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/cau-you-friends/#s_cau_you_friends): you (friends)
- [mày](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/may-you/#s_may_you): you
- [ông](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/ong-you-or-i/#s_ong_you_friends): you (friends)
- [tao](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/tao-i/#s_tao_i): I
- [tớ](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/to-i/#s_to_i): I
- [tui](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/words/tui-i/#lx_tui): I (casual)

## Compare

- [The neutral I and you: tôi, bạn, and when they sound cold](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/toi-i/): I / you (neutral)

Previous in Talking to and about people: [You and I are family words: anh, chị, em, cô, chú, ba / mẹ and con, thầy / cô and em](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/address-kinship/)
Next in Talking to and about people: [People, they (in general): người ta](https://vietnamesebuddy.com/grammar/nguoi-ta/)

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